2013, I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT YOU

This post is about to get personal, so if you're looking for light talk about stationery, please leave now. 

I'll give you some time.

Now that there are only a few of you left, I feel that I can be open with you. 2013 has not been the best year. I know, you're thinking "we're barely 2 months in, how could it have gone so wrong so fast?" I have been thinking the same thing.

I am a very optimistic, positive person. I usually spring right up out of bed in the morning with a general excitement for the day. Yes, I'm that girl. The one that is trying to talk your ear off before we've had our coffee. I'm the girl, um woman, that begins each year anew, revived, excited and with many, many plans for said year. And this year was no different.

I had specific goals for my business. Monetary, creative and everything in between. I had specific goals for my life. Places to go, things to do. I like to strategize. I don't really like surprises unless they come in the form of a baked good or a party. I like to know where I am headed.

But, as you may have already learned in life, it dosen't always happen that way. In fact, it almost never goes as you plan it. And it you didn't already know this, I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.

So let's just start at the beginning. My last grandparent passed away. My dad's mom. And while it was no surprise, she was 90,  it was all the same sad. I think the part about it that really got to me was the realization that my parents are now the oldest generation in my family. And death is hard no matter how it happens and who it happens to.

Next up. My business has been very slow. This is wedding season and I had grand plans for big business but it has just fallen flat. I am aware that this happens from time to time and that's okay. It's just tough when you feel like you're on a roll. And I was on a roll. It also makes me feel bad about myself which is silly but it does. I take it very personally and I generally like it that way. But when things are slow, I have a low level of panic and stress all the time and it isn't fun.

Okay, here's the doozy. My mom was very recently diagnosed with uterine cancer. It's so new that we don't know what stage it is yet and what treatment she will have to go through. There is lots of good news. This is a completely curable form of cancer. She may not even need chemo or radiation. I know that it could be so much worse. But ya'll, it's my mom. She's the strongest most vibrant woman I know. She is also one of the healthiest people that I know. She works out constantly and eats all kinds of veggies and such. Everyone we know makes fun of her for being so healthy. And I know that cancer does not discriminate but she feels cheated. Like she did everything she was supposed to and still got screwed.

So that's my trio of bad luck. Now, there have been good things happening too. I have friends having adorable babies, getting married, finding the loves of their lives. And all of that brings me great joy. But I can't deny that I'm in a funk. Hopefully there is no where to go but up from here. Knock on wood.

I posted the kitty picture because kittens make me smile. I hope it made you smile too. And here's to good times in 2013.